


In The End, I'm A Traitor

by Dia_XD_X3



Category: Inazuma Eleven: Orion no Kokuin
Genre: Anxiety, Cutting, Dark, Depression, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Heavy Angst, Insomnia, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-05-12 07:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19224409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dia_XD_X3/pseuds/Dia_XD_X3
Summary: Fubuki doesn't want to believe he's a traitor.One day, he gets unexpected visitors (prequel to 'Remember Me').





	In The End, I'm A Traitor

Shirou still couldn't believe he wasn't a member of Inazuma Japan anymore. Before he could realize it, he was inside his home, all alone. Atsuya wasn't there, and he probably didn't want to see him ever again. All the lights in the house were turned off, the static of TV was the only thing that was keeping the room alive with the dim light and static.

 

 

 

Shirou was lying on his bed, an arm dropped above his tear filled eyes while his breath was hitching. He's never stopped crying ever since he came back home. He got anorexia and stopped eating, his insomnia didn't let him rest in peace making him hear the harsh words from his ex-teammates.

 

 

 

_'Traitor'_

 

 

 

'Traitor'

 

 

 

**'TRAITOR'**

 

 

 

Words kept echoing in his mind. He thought he would be safe back at home. But he could never call that house a home even though it had more than a person could imagine.

 

 

 

But...

 

 

 

It didn't have Atsuya...

 

 

 

Home is where the heart is...

 

 

 

But his heart belongs to the vicious bear killer Atsuya...

 

 

 

The person who probably hates him the most in the whole world. More than any enemy or rival. All because of a stupid deal. Stupid Orion. Stupid him because he agreed on it.

 

 

 

It pained him more than anything in the world to be so far from his brother. It pained him even more than when their parents died. After his parents died, Atsuya wasn't so close to him like before. He became much more savage and uncontrollable.

 

 

 

Shirou was shocked to see that one day they had that brotherly bond again.

 

 

 

Shirou was afraid he's already lost it.

 

 

 

-KNOCK-KNOCK-

 

 

 

Shirou lifted his eyes slowly staring in the direction of the entrance door. He got up and walked to the door. Before touching the doorknob, he wondered.

 

 

 

'What if it's Atsuya? Did he come to see me? Did he come to tell me I'm not worth to be his brother anymore and kick me out of here?' Shirou pushed away the negative thoughts and unlocked the door.

 

 

 

In front of him stood a white haired man and beside him was the captain of Perfect Spark. Both had cold blue eyes that were sending shivers down Shirou's spine. Not because of how emotionless they looked. But because Shirou knew what was waiting for him.

 

 

 

"Berneard-san! Captain Froy!" Shirou said surprised. The chairman smirked while Froy only looked aside sadly. He obviously didn't want to be there.

 

 

 

"Hello Shirou. May we come in?" Shirou blinked few times before stepping aside. As the Russians entered, he closed the door behind them and gestured them towards the living room.

 

 

 

"Do you want some tea?" Shirou asked already heading to the kitchen.

 

 

 

"Ah, no thank you. We'll be quick." the chairman smiled before Shirou sat across of him on a small coffee table with a serious expression.

 

 

 

But Froy was the only one who could see fear behind it.

 

 

 

"Why are you here? The match against Japan is tomorrow?" Bernard grinned and Shirou's eyes narrowed.

 

 

 

"I know that." Shirou stared at him in confusion "Why are you here then?"

 

 

 

"Have you decided whether you want to become an official Orion disciple or not?" Shirou stared at the ground no words coming out from him.

 

 

 

"Look at around you, Shirou" the chairman said in a commanding tone. Shirou lifted his head slowly to take a look around the room. Completely empty. So empty it looked like a ghost would be afraid to live inside.

 

 

 

"Orion could give you anything you want. New house, new friends, new team... New family." Shirou felt a pang of guilt strike him as he said that. He could not talk to his family ever again because of Orion. But maybe, just maybe, Orion could be the new beginning for him.

 

 

 

"At least promise me one thing." Shirou stated while the white haired man nodded "Promise me you won't do anything to my brother after this."

 

 

 

"You don't have to worry about it." Bernard chuckled "We'll come back tomorrow. Don't even consider running away or otherwise we'll have to take precautions. Have a good day." the man stood up and started walking out of the room.

 

 

 

"I'll be there in few minutes." Froy said while the other only nodded and left. Froy glanced at The Prince of Snowfields with a sad look while the defender couldn't bring himself to stare in Perfect Spark captain's soft eyes.

 

 

 

"Are you sure you wanna do this?"

 

 

 

No answer.

 

 

 

"Tomorrow we'll both pass through the same thing. My brother made me join Orion against my will. You don't have to pass through same. I can give you an opportunity to escape and leave everything behind. You'll be able to live a new life-"

 

 

 

"You don't get it do you?

 

 

 

"Huh?"

 

 

 

"I don't care that this is against my will. Neither should you. Just like everyone else. I would do anything to protect my brother who hates the fact that I exist. I wouldn't care if my brother was out to kill me, I would never turn my back on him." Shirou stated with a broken tone. Froy's gaze was full of pity as he got up and left.

 

 

 

"See you tomorrow Shirou." as the defender heard the door shut, he fell on his knees and started to sob while shivering violently. He would finally be free from caring about Atsuya. Nothing mattered anymore. Shirou didn't care if they killed him as long as they don't touch his brother.

 

 

 

This was the right choice, was it...?

 

 

 

'It's no matter how you turn it... In the end, no matter how you look at it, I'm a traitor to someone...' The Prince of Snowfields grabbed his phone and entered the bathroom. He put on a famous song of Linkin Park called 'In The End'. As the depressing melody played, Shirou grabbed a blade he always held in a drawer and rolled up his sleeve revealing pale skin filled with cuts.

 

* * *

 

 

_It starts with one_

 

 

  
One thing, I don't know why

 

 

  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try

 

 

  
Keep that in mind

 

 

  
I designed this rhyme to explain in due time

 

 

  
_All I know_

 

 

* * *

 

 

He stared at the blade. His best friend ever since everyone forgot him...

 

 

 

Shirou frowned, but then forced an odd smile...

 

 

 

'How could I forget you?'

 

 

* * *

 

Time is a valuable thing

 

 

  
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings

 

 

  
Watch it count down to the end of the day

 

 

  
The clock ticks life away

 

 

  
_It's so unreal_

 

 

* * *

 

 

Shirou could feel how the cold blade pressed against his skin. How, as he slowly put on some pressure, warm red liquid started to ooze out of the fresh, new cut. He felt the pain pulsing through his body and soul, but he didn't care...

 

 

 

He wanted to feel...

 

 

* * *

 

  
You didn't look out below

 

 

  
Watch the time go right out the window

 

 

  
Tryin' to hold on, didn't even know

 

 

  
I wasted it all just to  _watch you go_

 

* * *

 

He started remembering how happy he was when he was still playing soccer...

 

 

 

Kicking the soccer ball felt like kicking away all the problems and worries...

 

 

 

"Good old days..."

 

 

* * *

 

 

I kept everything inside

 

 

  
And even though I tried, it all fell apart

 

 

  
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory

 

 

 

Of a time when I tried so hard

 

 

* * *

 

Each cut started to become deeper...

 

 

 

Every bit of pain started to sting and burn...

 

 

 

But he liked it...

 

 

* * *

 

 

I tried so hard and got so far

 

 

  
But in the end, it doesn't even matter

 

 

  
I had to fall to lose it all

 

 

  
But in the end, it doesn't even matter

 

 

* * *

 

 

His mind started to hurt...

 

 

 

His vision was blurry...

 

 

 

But he couldn't stop himself...

 

 

 

He didn't _dare_   to stop...

 

 

* * *

 

 

One thing, I don't know why

 

 

  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try

 

 

  
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme

 

 

  
To remind myself how I  _tried so hard_

 

 

* * *

 

 

Shirou couldn't think anymore...

 

 

 

His mind started to act on his own...

 

 

 

Pushing the blade to his throat...

 

 

* * *

 

  
In spite of the way you were mockin' me

 

 

  
Actin' like I was part of your property

 

 

  
Remembering all the times you fought with me

 

 

  
I'm surprised it  _got so far_

 

 

* * *

 

 

His body was trembling...

 

 

 

His breath was hitching...

 

 

 

His hand started to draw his blade even closer to death than before...

 

 

* * *

 

 

Things aren't the way they were before

 

 

  
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore

 

 

  
Not that you knew me back then

 

 

  
But it all comes back to me  _in the end_

 

 

* * *

 

 

His friends...

 

 

 

His family...

 

 

 

His life...

 

 

 

He ruined it...

 

 

* * *

 

  
You kept everything inside

 

 

  
And even though I tried, it all fell apart

 

 

  
What it meant to me will eventually

 

 

  
Be a memory of a time when I tried so hard

 

 

* * *

 

 

He wanted to forget it all...

 

 

 

Forget everything that's ever bothered him...

 

 

 

Everyone who failed him...

 

 

 

He wanted to disappear...

 

 

* * *

 

 

I tried so hard and got so far

 

 

  
But in the end, it doesn't even matter

 

 

  
I had to fall to lose it all

 

 

  
But in the end, it doesn't even matter

 

 

* * *

 

 

Suddenly...

 

 

 

He remembered the moments with his family...

 

 

 

Decorating the Christmas tree on his birthday...

 

 

 

Playing in the snow in front of their house...

 

 

 

Him and his brother playing soccer, together...

 

 

 

Perfect pair...

 

 

 

It was all a lie...

 

 

* * *

 

 

I've put my trust in you

 

 

  
Pushed as far as I can go

 

 

  
For all this

 

 

  
There's only one thing you should know

 

 

* * *

 

 

He smiled...

 

 

 

Smiling while the blade drew the final line on his life...

 

 

* * *

 

 

I've put my trust in you

 

 

  
Pushed as far as I can go

 

 

  
For all this

 

 

  
There's only one thing you should know

 

 

* * *

 

 

He fell on to the bathroom floor...

 

 

 

It was colorless and cold...

 

 

 

Shirou liked there was something resembling him in this house...

 

 

 

That'll leave a memory of him...

 

 

* * *

 

 

I tried so hard and got so far

 

 

  
But in the end, it doesn't even matter

 

 

  
I had to fall to lose it all

 

 

  
But in the end, it doesn't even matter

 

 

* * *

 

 

He saw it...

 

 

 

The light...

 

 

 

Did someone care enough for him to lead him towards the gates of heaven...

 

 

 

"Shirou!"

 

 

 

A cry was enough for him to frown.

 

 

 

Blurred white haired boy calling for help...

 

 

 

He was going to die anyway...

 

 

 

In the end...

 

 

 


End file.
